Pouring out

Drained.

Physically and most definitely emotionally.

Not spiritually, however, I'm still high on my God. In fact, He's probably my only source of energy of late.

I'm just plain tired.I guess I get that way when I spend all day doing my best to pour out into others. Trying to be kind and affectionate in every possible way wears me out. It sure is a good thing I don't go to school everyday of the week. It's so much easier to focus on building up my mother for the day.

Anyway, just so you know, I'm most definitely not complaining. This is the ministry my God has given me for now and I will rejoice in be glad in it. For those who are faithful in little will be given much. And then, in turn, to those much is given, much is required.

If I want God to bless me someday with a big ministry to others through my dream job or whatever He picks, I have to learn how to function with much being required of me, now.

So I pour out. I have made it my mission, especially at my school, to reach out and pour into people as much as possible. My main goal is that people would walk away from a conversation with me feeling uplifted and better about themselves. That they would feel like there is someone that truly cares about how they're feeling, or how their day is going. Of course, although I can only have a deep relationship with a few, I still try to reach out and be friendly to everyone I come in contact with.

I probably fail at this. Every day I'm more aware of all the people I never get a chance to encourage. Of those ones standing in the corner. Of the ones who I don't know well enough to be comforatable going up to and randomely starting a conversation with.

But I also know it's not really about reaching out to every single person I see. I know I'd never be able to do that. The point is that I do not purposely exclude others. That I do not gossip about anyone behind their backs, that I set a good example for the younger ones, and that I uplift others with my conversation.

Now, I would never be able to do this at all were it not the Holy Spirit working in me. It's funny, you can basically tell which weeks I have been reading my bible more simply based off the fact of how I'm treating other people. The more I'm in tune with the spirit, the more His love shines through me. And the less the world is about me. Through the power of Holy Spirit, selfishness can be turned into selfless-ness.

So that's basically it, I'm dead tired cause I spent all day pouring out God's love onto others. But it's a good tired. It's a satisfied, I know God's proud of me-tired.
And let me tell you what, though it may be utterly exhausting, functioning in God's will is the most rewarding thing ever. He is continually pouring out His love and blessings onto you, when you, in return, pour them out to others. It's a nice little circle of love.

And that's the thing: human fatigue will only last a day or two. But perhaps, something said to someone else, showing God's love to them, may last in that persons mind for weeks, months, or maybe even years. That, in itself, is also an amazing reward.

Anyway, too much rambling on my soap-box for now, time to fly the coop. Ta ta.