Skating

So, I happened to have gone roller-blading tonight...even though its technically called roller-skating. I decided to be cool and go with roller-blading :p Actually, the cool people wore skates cause you can move around and do cool dance moves better. But, as for the reason I chose blades, it's for one reason: you can go fast. :D Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not like a ricky-bobby, steal the car and go vrooom! it's more like the feeling of flying whithout worrying about killing people or just sitting in a car. There's something about getting up your momentum and then just standing still as your flying past people. The feeling of going super fast while not making a single move, arms spread out. It's amazing. But, after tonight, I have two main thoughts.
Number one: Skating will very quickly make you a very mean person. Explanation? When you first get there, you care about the little kids that are falling on their behinds. You stop and ask if they're ok. By the middle of your time there, you start not even caring when they fall, by the end, you don't even see them falling at all until you run over them...yeah. Not good. But, if you think about it, it's sort of how we sometimes view life. When you're a child, and you hear about starving and dieing people all over the world for the first time, you care. Deeply. You want to help. You're ready to take on the world all by youself. By the time you're a teen to young adult, you don't really care, or you do care, but you're not going to do anything more than donating some clothes and a few cans of food. And finally, I can't say anything about old people, cause I've never been old...or asked one about how they feel about the problems of the earth. Anyway, just a thought.
Second thought: Roller blading is the perfect outing for someone who likes to be alone with their many thoughts, feel cool, and go fast :)
That was definitely me.
I'm okay with that. In fact, the whole, dark lights and love songs atmosphere just made it all better. No sarcasm. Listening to the worldly love songs saying all they need is love to make them happy and watching people holding hands and such, literally made it better. Because I was able to stand there and say, hey you know what, I got God. I don't need any earthly love because I got the best boyfreind ever! He's better than yours times a million!!! Not that I'm against relationships or anything. But God will always be my number one. :) And that's way better than having some earthly fallable boy to be my only number one...or technically number two by the worlds standards. Personally, I would never want myself as number one either, things would get way too hectic!
Number three thing: I know I said there would be only two but I just thought of something else.
To add to the going fast thing, I like the feeling of flying. Like seriously, it's always been my dream. I was born to fly. And not in an airplane. Thats dumb. I don't want to just sit the seat-belted, I want to fly. Not jump, not dive, not fall. No, I want to fly. I want the feeling of soaring without your feet being pulled to the ground. I can fly in almost all of my dreams, so I know exactly how it feels. But for now, roller blading, gliding super fast, is a great substitute.
But, I think that's all I have to say for now....
It's funny how much I think about while simply roller skating and eating popcorn lol
Hope I didn't scare you with my overactive mind.
Hange loose :)

The Beautiful, The Base, and The Beloved.

Lately God has been revealing to me how much like a fairy tale the whole story of earth is. From Genesis to revelations, is a beautiful enrapturing story in which there are protagonists, antagonists, twists, turns, surprises, cliches, frustrations, heart-throbs, life-changing decisions, and the most well put-together plot ever. All in all the very story of time itself (especially that of which recorded in the bible) is quite an on-the-edge-of-your-seat thriller/romance/comedy/horror/fantasy/sci-fi/action flick! And the best part? It has a happy ending. :)
Yes, the story of the bible and God's involvement in our lives is all of these things. But, like I said earlier, God has really been revealing to me the romantic side of it. It's quite beautiful. A modern day fairy tale.
You see, it goes a little like this: (Note: this is quite an abbreviation! God has shown me a lot more than this and, well, lets just say there's a lot of story to all of time...it would take all of time to tell it...I only have a few paragraphs.)

Imagine first our hero: The perfect guy. His name is...well, he has many names, but for the sake of our story we will go with Josh. :) (In the Bible, Jesus' actually name was Yeshua translated Joshua. So for the sake of you not thinking this is too cliche cause it's all about Jesus we'll call him Josh. Gives a new perspective no?)
Josh has an enemy who hates him, named Stan. But we'll get to Stan later
Josh is as good as it gets. Handsome, loving, loyal, romantic, has an awesome style, good hair, and all around is the best guy ever. He has no faults. And He's in love. The girls name is Christine ( ok I know, a bit cliche.) Anyway, She's beautiful. Lovely. The image of perfection. She's simple and free and desperately in love with Joshua. They are beyond happy together. They have no care in the world. They're engaged. :)
Then something happens. Josh is going along one day and decides to drop by her house and see how she is. But when he walks in, he finds her cheating with someone else. Stan. (Did I mention Stan is really hott?)
Josh is crushed, Christine's ashamed, and their engagement is broken off. It feels like the world is ending.
They go their separate ways. But Josh never really gives up on her. He's continually trying to draw her back. Giving her offerings of love. But she is bitter. She's convinced he's too perfect and she doesn't want him anymore. She looks for love elsewhere. She drinks. She parties. She sins. She runs the opposite direction. Following the crowd of the one she first cheated with. The one she supposedly "loves" now. Yet, through all of this torment, Josh still loves her. He fights for her. She fights him. She kicks, screams, taunts and insults him. Yet still he love her. He does get angry at times, and at times she almost seems ready to repent, but never whole-heartedly. Finally, she's so far into her sin, it entraps her. She's been kidnapped, held for ransom in the darkest part of the slums, by Stan. He is trying to get back at Josh, whom he hates.
Josh immediately goes to rescue her. He navigates the dark alley-ways, wades through the trash filled streets, fights his way through muggers and dogs trying just to get to her. Finally, he finds her, but just as he picks up her drugged body to take her home, she wakes up and starts to struggle. She doesn't understand that Stan has kidnapped her. She doesn't know why in the world she's in these slums, but whatever it is, she doesn't want Josh's help! Shes tired of him. She just wants Josh to get away and let her make her own choices. She's bitter, fed up and angry. And as she sees Stan running out after them she, in a fit of blazing anger, helps Stan to brutally murder Josh. When it is done, Stan sneers in triumph and then suddenly runs off, leaving Christine in the street. He doesn't need her for ransom anymore. He got what he wanted. Christine tries to call him back, but she can't run after him. She is alone, lost, and confused. The life she thought she wanted just left her alone to die in the street. Hitting rock-bottom, her head clears and she's finally remorseful. She's stares in the pale face of her once beloved and cries. She wails. She cries herself to sleep. No hope of being rescued.
In the morning she awakes. Not dead yet. When she looks around she realizes Josh's body is gone. She cries and yells at the cold stone walls around her. What has Stan done to him now?
Wiping her eyes with her dirty hands she starts to get up. A familiar soft voice softly speaks behind her; "Don't be afraid, I still love you." She whirls around and sees the impossible. Josh, standing, unhurt, shining with open arms. Ecstatic she runs, dirty, smudged, and forsaken to her lover. They are together at last! But this story doesn't end with them riding off into the sunset.
The engagement is back on now, but that doesn't mean she is perfect. The difference now, is that she's really trying. Stan still gets to her sometimes. She still stumbles. But the amazing love and grace which was shown to her by Josh always draws her back.
It's a long engagement. Josh has to leave for awhile and earn enough to provide for her. He is building them a simply beautiful house to surprise her with. At times though, Stan still tries to fight him. Always over Christine. But Josh never fails to win and drive him away.
And though long in the coming, there is a happy ending. Besides, there has to be. It's a love story. :)

I'm not claiming this story is completely biblically accurate. It's just the romantic version God has revealed somewhat to me. It can be set in any time period you want. And it can probably do with some minor changes. But that's the story. The story of the love of the beloved, compared to that of the deceptive charm of a one night stand. The love of God which lasts forever, and the fleeting happiness of this world. Which do you want?

Short Like Me ;)

So, the other day, I remembered there was such a thing as a short post...so I thought I'd try it out. The End

The Father, the Son, and the Bible?

I'm gonna tackle a tough subject today. It's one that a lot of people don't like to talk about. It's one that happens to be extremely controversial. Some people are even scared of it. I'm gonna talk about the Holy Spirit.
First, let me start off with a disclaimer. I disclaim that I know everything. I disclaim I am always right. I disclaim that I am fully learned on this subject. I only claim to have a personal relationship with God and to be filled with the Holy Spirit. The rest you may decide for yourself if it is true. Better yet, look it up...in the Bible...it's a good book.
So I've been thinking on this subject since my youth pastor brought it up and was teaching on it. I didn't completely agree with him...but then again, I don't really completely agree with most people..on a lot of things...you get the picture.
I've heard said by some that when it comes to things of the Holy Spirit that aren't mention in scripture, the "gray areas", that you should just completely back away and "air on the side of caution." This phrase frustrates me to no end. It's not that I don't want to be cautious. I mean, we are talking about eternal damnation and peoples souls here right? But to me, Christianity has always been about taking a leap of faith, taking risks, doing crazy things for God that might look stupid in the eyes of man. I mean, the disciples were all sitting around at nine in the morning filled with the Holy Spirit and doing such crazy things that people thought they were drunk! Even early in the morning! The thing is, that's the example put before us in the Bible. It's God saying, "This is my Holy Spirit that I sent to you, do not be afraid of functioning in Him...even when people think you're drunk."
Of course I know the comeback, that the Bible also specifically talks about having orderly worship in 1 cor 14. I'm not gonna argue with the Bible. I believe in it 100%. But you have to be careful of getting so orderly that we quench the Holy Spirit.
And that's just it. The fact is, sometimes it seems people like to unknowingly reorder the trinity. They like to say it is really God, Jesus, and the Bible.
Now of course the Bible is living and active, God breathed and every word is true. Of course it is the perfect instruction set for our lives. And of course the Holy Spirit will not say anything that conflicts with it. But we can not simple avoid any area the Holy Spirit tries to bring to us just because it's not clearly outlined in the Bible. You have to be willing to take those risks for God. God is not going to let an unbeliever get completely turned off to God just because you were sincerely trying to listen to Him and follow what he says. You're not always going to be right of course, and sometimes you may even miserably fail at what you try to do. But God's still there, still helping you. He's not going to sit up there and look at you with a big frown on His face saying "Ulp, another one just failed, write him off, he's no good to us anymore...the big failure."
No, sometimes, you just have to go on faith...and isn't that what Christianity is all about? One more note on this subject: to hear God clearly, and to be sure you know when the Holy Spirit is actually prompting you to do something it helps to practice. The more you talk to him in whatever way he reaches you (for me it's a small voice in my head, for others it's pictures, for some it's just reading the word, or getting a sign or something), the more you will know when he is actually telling you to do something. His sheep hear and know His voice. John 10:14,27
Another thing I wanted to get to is the fact of there being so much controversy on the subject (esp. of tongues) that some will just avoid it all together. My thought to that is, did you ever stop to think that the reason there is so much controversy surrounding tongues and other workings of the Holy Spirit because the devil is doing anything to stop the use of it? Because it is just so POWERFUL that he's scared out of his mind of ti? I mean, the Holy Spirit is the one that gives us our power over things in this world in the first place! Luke 1:35, Acts1:8, Acts 10:38, Rom 15:13
People can make excuses all day long about why the workings of the Holy Spirit are things to be wary of and to keep in a safe little box so as to not scare anybody away. But, if a person can't handle this "scary" aspect of God, how are they going to function in heaven? My bet is, heaven is going to be full to the brim with tongues, holy laughter, falling down, weeping for joy, people screaming halleluiahs, absolutely crazy dancing, and even more things we can't even imagine. :D
But let take a step back here. Another argument is that you can't just be super charismatic in church or else it could possibly be a turn off to a non-believer. To answer this question how about we get inside the mind of one? My brother. He's most definitely saved now and he's completely on fire. But one thing he said that held him off from the church was the very fact that it just seemed dead. Even when people would raise their hands and go to the alter it wasn't enough. The thing that turned his head were churches that were actually functioning in the holy spirit going crazy for God. It made him want what they had. He wanted to be that alive. And personally, when I take a step back into that view, I think that's what I would want too.
Anyway, I've made this far too long and have probably ranted too much. Again though, I'd like to say this is definitely isn't the final word on this subject. It's not even my final word. I'm still growing and learning everyday. I may have a completely different view in five years! So yeah, go home...oh wait you probably are home....well anyway, pick up your Bible and study this for yourself. Acts is a good place when talking about being filled with the Holy Spirit and 1 Cor 12-13 talks a lot about spiritual gifts. So there....The End.

Hello, my old friends.

Hello, dear ones. I know you've been feeling neglected of late. I know you've been wondering why in the world I haven't posted anything. I know you've been alone on your computer for hours waiting for anything new on my blog. I know you've been raging around your house crying and screaming because your favorite blogger in the world has disappeared AND LEFT YOU ALL ALONE!!!
Ok, well, maybe not. Maybe that's just how I imagine you. lol. You probably really don't care. But, if there is any small chance that you've been wondering where I've gone, than this post is for you. :) I'll just be catching you up on my thoughts recently.
So where to start.... hmm. This is difficult you see, for prom was a very very long time ago. Well lets start off by saying that I had a birthday a while back and am now officially...ummm...older. :)
It was sort of milestone birthday. I mean, kind of. It was an age I had previously thought as old and an actual "big kid". One of those God-like teenagers that you revere as you hide behind your mothers skirt. Even just last year I had always seen it as more of an "official" age. Well, anywho, now I am that age, and, well, nothing much has changed. I didn't suddenly undergo a drastic transformation in which aliens took me away and turned me into a scary person. I just...got older. Yes, I have done a lot of maturing lately. But I don't think that has as much to do with how old I am, I think it has more to do with how close to God I've been. And that's really the most exciting thing! :D I have been completely falling head over heals in love with Him. We're even engaged!!!! He just the best fiance ever! He makes me laugh. He's always there holding me when I need Him. He's not afraid to tell me to shut up when I need to. lol And He completely understands me. I mean, He freaking knows me better than I know myself. It's pretty awesome :)
The best example I have, though, to describe our relationship is in a movie. Prince Caspian. Go watch it...now. Right after you've read all the Chronicles of Narnia books. Cause they're pretty much the best. books. ever. Anyway, when you watch the movie I want you to look in particular to Lucy and Aslan's relationship. She sees Him before all of her siblings, He invades her dreams, He gives her strength, He calls her dear one, He grows side by side with her, and He stands quietly by her side giving her the strength to be brave in the midst of a battle. It's really a beautiful picture. In fact, one of my favorite parts of that movie is when the entire Telmarine army is retreating back to storm across the Baruna bridge. Suddenly, they all just stop. They stop cause of the shock of what they see on the other side. One little girl, Lucy, stands alone with her dagger drawn. But then, she's not alone, Aslan appears out of nowhere beside her. She smiles. The entire army falters for a moment. The sight is just too strange. Then they shake themselves off and charge forward. That's when Aslan roars and the river itself rises up in the shape of a man and drowns the army. It just a breathtaking scene. But my favorite part of all, is simple Lucy standing, dagger drawn, with no fear, for Aslan is by her side. It almost makes me want to cry. Its a beautiful testimony of Gods love for us. He's always there. That's what I've learnt this year. And now He's my best friend. (and He's the best one I've ever had) :)
It's taken me a lot to get through this stage. But the fact is, I'm here now, and I never want to go back.
I'm sorry if I've been boring you, but, if you find talk about God boring, than this blog probably isn't for you. But, I digress, let me continue on my journey of catching you up with my life.
First, let me ask you if you remember my post about individuality. Do you? Well, if you do, please discard your memory. I no longer agree with my old philosophy. I figured that live is most definitely not about being yourself. It's about being God. What? You ask. Be God? You're not supposed to be God. You're supposed to give up and let God be God. In response I say, exactly! Confused yet? Just take a look at Galatians 2:20 (which, by the way, is my new favorite verse)

"I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me."

I want you to take special not of the part that says "It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me." Were not to be ourselves, were to be God. Or, were to let God be Himself in us. When people see us, they should see God. Not us. Not our personalities. But God, and His perfect personalities. And it all starts with surrender. You have to surrender your faults, and your trying to be like the world, as well as you have to surrender who you are, and your individuality. It's as simple as that. :)

Well, lets see, what else... this post sure is awful long already and my mom is waiting for the computer. So, how would you like a quick summary of everything else huh? Ok then, here we go:

I went to two awesome camps, saw God in amazing ways, saw lives utterly changed and delivered, felt the holy spirit like never before, received the gift of tongues, made new friendships, and strengthened acquaintances into good friendships, had lots of fun, saw lots of movies, (I really recommend How to Train Your Dragon!!) painted lots of pictures, danced in the rain, wore pretty dresses, had a dog eat my flip flops, made videos with my best friend. Made a youtube account, ate lots of popcorn and sherbert :), is going to sing the Lords prayer at her cousins wedding in two weeks!!!, been a part of many hilarious inside jokes, saved up money for a mission trip, lead a song on the worship team in front of an entire camp, and didn't eat very many pickles. The End. ;)

Prom!!!

Oh my gosh so prom was amazing!!! I have a flood of memories in my head and I have no idea where to start. It was one of those awesome events you just want to sit and ponder and mull over for the next few days. But I really should give some details...hmmm. Where to begin? Well, I guess the beginnning is a good place.
First off I guess you should know that I orginally intended to go with my friends Rebekah and Danielle. We were gonna get ready together and take pictures and then go to prom and have a sleepover afterwards. But, unfortunately, this didn't exactly work out. Our plans kind of fell through and I actually ended up getting ready by myself (my mom was out of town and my dad was at work). Now don't feel sorry for me...I actually rather enjoyed it. I had no one to distract me and I never had to help anyone else put their look together. So it was rather peaceful, home alone, tranquilly getting ready and dreaming and wondering what it'd be like. I also felt very independant and confidant. So that was all ok.
Next I arrived at prom (an hour early cause my dad had to be there early because he was working as a security person.) I hung around and chatted with peoples I knew ( and didn't know) till the doors opened. I registered and walked on the "red carpet" (the theme was classic movies and academy awards type things.) into a world of enchantment.
Actually the entire lobby was decorated with differnet sets from old famous movies where you could take your picture with people dressed up as the characters.

My favorite was the phantom of the opera. :)

Fast forward about an hour to the opening of the actualy ballroom doors where we walked into the movie Casablanca and ooed and awed at the amazing stage(it looked like a plane about to take off) and the elegant table settings. The room quickly filled up and the live piano music set the mood of magic. I have to stop here and say that this ball-room was probabaly the biggest room I have ever been in, or seen, in my entire life. And it was filled! It was simply breathtaking.
(this only shows a small corner of the room and leaves out the whole dance floor)

Now I'm going to let you take a closer glimpse at the workings of my mind just now. Whenever I'm in a large place, with lots of people, and were all dressed up, I automatically imagine something. I imagine the same room, the same decorations, the same music and everything, but without any people. It's allways just me dancing in a beautiful gown by myself. I love picturing that. I don't know why, but I do it quite often. My brain just seems to like imagining everybody away, leaving me to be alone in wonderful, peacful quiet, to dance. Thats what I was thinking of when I walked into that room.
Anyway, sorry for the bunny trails. I shall continue. We ate a delectible meal, I met many new people and it was all very lovely...until the dancing started. Then things turned awesome! There's just something about me and music. Especially if it's fun music I know. I just can't stop my body from moving! My feet start first and I give myself up to the call of the dance. There were times I was too tired to sip my water and yet as soon as a good song came on I'd be back and dancing. I just can't help it!
Another rather frightening/cool thing about the dancing part was the floor. You see, we were on the second floor of the hotel and everytime everyone on the dance floor was jumping...the floor was jumping too. Literally. If you stood still you could feel it bouncing up and down. and not just little bouncing either. No, this was definitely like jumping-three-or-four-inches-up-and-down-both-ways type bouncing. It was pretty cool...I rather wanted to pretend to be the old man from Freaky Friday and start running around screaming EARTHQUAKE!!! lol
Hmmm so what else... Well, I was going great dancing till about midnight. Then I started to wind down a little bit. You see, I got a cold two days before so I was still a little sick and that doesn't bode well with dancing all night long. lol

So I started siting out more, (although it took tremendous effort on my part
consdering my love of the dance) but I would still jump up and dance another good song every few minutes. It was getting toward the end of the evening and I was sitting out more and more songs when they played fireflies. My head shot up (as well as my feet) and I flew to the dance floor with renewed energy. I love that song, you see, and owl city's songs in general just sort of play the music of my heart. lol So i danced and sang (lip-sang actually for I had no voice by the end of that night) and had mucho enjoyable fun on what was to be my last dance. For, you see, after that my feet decided they were done and so the sort of swelled to where I couldn't walk.- Much to my disappointment as well as the boy who had asked me to dance the real last dance with him. lol
But that was all ok, for I enjoyed resting and watching all the peoples radiant faces as they frolicked, laughed and twirled, just as much as I would have enjoyed dancing myself.
By the time the night was over I had a head full of wonderful memories, a throat full of frogs, two feet full of...non-walkableness, and a mouth full of smiles.
It was a truly enjoyable time. Thank God for creating joy, dancing, and celebrations.

Spring

Guess what People? Today I walked outside and (here comes the cool part....wait for it...wait for it...) COULD ACTUALLY FEEL THE HEAT OF THE SUN!!!!! It was even in my eyes! In fact, it was so bright outside that when I went back into my house I couldn't see anything...which of course usually leads to the tripping and bumping and falling but I'm not gonna go into that. My point is;

Spring time is officially here!

Everybody say YAY!!!!!!

It was amazing! I could feel the heat, the sunshine. I could hear birds singing all around. I could feel the green grass between my toes...ok fine. It's still yellow from winter, but hey! It's Texas, that's what you get.
Anyway, I don't about you but I was made for spring. I was made to hear the birds, to feel the sun, to lay in the warm grass. There's just something about it that awakens part of me. It's almost as if part of my spirit hybernates during the winter like the bears do. Yeah, I could definitely feel a new "spring" in my step, (if you'll parden the expression.) lol
So today, in honor of the beautiful spring time weather, I went outside to do one of my favorite sunshine activities; Swinging.
If you didn't know, I have a rather fantasticaly large love for swinging. And, I also happen to have a rather large tree swing right in front of my house. Perfect.
So, today I honored the tradition kept by kids all over the world and swung on my swing to my little hearts content. It was heaven.
It's in those little moments that I find the true me. The me thats never experienced a pain or care in the world. Just a little girl swinging and singing silly songs in the sunshine. Perfectly content, and soaking up the wind and the rays.
I'll say it again. I was born for spring.

So many thoughts...

Lots of thoughts lately....lots of thoughts. Can't quite put the right words to them yet, but there will be some blog posts when I can. For now, a preview of some of them:

She's older than me, yet somehow I know I'm more mature...I'm better for you. Better influence...but isn't that just me being way prideful? Aren't these thoughts bad in the first place?

what happened to me? What happened to us? Is it all about her now?

God? Do you care?

Of course he cares.

Some of my deepest feelings are of anger at injustice and protecting those I love...why? what does that mean? what does anything mean?

God. God is the answer. Love. God is Love. Love is the answer.

Why is it so hard to love?

How do I feel like I know so much and know so little at the same time?

Is it bad that I'm secretly happy whenever I here debates between christianity and other religions cause I know I'm right. Cause I know that my side will allways win in the end. Or is that being prideful as well?

Is it out of love? no, but I'm still happy i'm right.
I like being right...

thats selfeshness
selfeshness is wrong, love is right

Where is the worship of you God?

Can't they see what they're missing? The chance is right in front of them, why don't they take it?

Where is the worship of you?

Why am I judging them instead of focusing on worship?

Why do we look at the world as centered around us? Why Sin nature? Why sin?

Darn you satan.

...stupid snake...

Why is it so hard to act without thinking of what others will think of you?

Why are we wired that way?

Why fear?

So many questions.

So yeah, you see why I don't have words. The End.

What is it?

First it starts softly
And you don't know it's happening

Then it gets bigger,
harder, faster,
not stopping

Then you see patches
of bright color on the ground

till it covers everything
in sight all around

It continues its pace
Sometimes harder
Sometimes not

Sometimes it look happy
Sometimes distraught

Now forceful
Now lazy

Now angry
Now hazy

Now it's just a wish..
Oh wait! It came back!

Now it's dancing
And it's hard to keep track

Oh, now it's beautiful!
Steady and slow

Building and packing
Continuing to grow

At night it turns blue
but it keeps on going

Gaining strength in the night
without you even knowing

It goes all night long
Yet in the morning
it's gone

All but the evidence
Piled up on the lawn.

Invisible

You don’t know me
You never did
You never took the time
To look inside my head

To look beyond my mask
of being normal and
blending in
You never tried to discover
The person I really am

You never got to know me
You never even cared
You never even saw me
You only saw my shield

And so you'll never discover
the friendship we could've had.
Or share my loyalty and caring heart
that I will always freely give.

And that is what your missing
every time that you ignore
my glances,
my stares,
my hoping eyes,
while you intently stare at the floor.