Therapy: a somewhat poem.

Therapy

Therapy is
different
for every person
My therapy
consists of this:

God
Art
Music
Friends
Swinging
Dancing
Green grassy fields
The rain
The sun
The wind
Curling up
on the couch
with a movie
and popcorn.
Reading
Silence
Trying
Crying
Venting
Screaming
Tearing things up
Forgiving
Loving
Moving on
Sleeping
Laughing!

The End

Slow-motion

Do you ever have those days where it seems like everything is happening in slow motion? Where is seems like the world knows that you're not doing ok, so it tries to lord it over you by slowing everything down? I had one of those days today...
Everything went slow...super slow. I don't think I've ever experience an E.C.C day that went by so slowly, and I felt awful. Not that I was sick or something, but I was missing someone. I suppose I was sick; heartsick. It was one of those days where you finally get home and all you want to do is curl up in God's lap and just give it all to him. You just want to say, "I don't wanna deal with this anymore God, I'm tired of it, emotionally and physically. Take it away from me, take it all away."
Sometimes I just wish things would go back to the way they were. Back to the "good ole days". Though, I think everyone has "good ole days" that they wish would come back sometimes. It's far too easy to hate the situation you're in and wish for other times. Even the Israelites wished they were back in Egypt as slaves sometimes. But you have to remember, you always have to remember, that God has a plan. Gah, it's so hard to remember that sometimes! But He does. He has a plan, and a purpose. And our job is to learn to be thankful and rejoice in every situation. No matter what. No matter if we're wandering around the dessert with only tasteless manna to eat, or wandering around your school disgusted at the injustice, and missing someone to death. You have to stay strong, to stay in God; where all of our strength comes from.

Journaling

So recently I started a Journal. I call it "The Journal of Anna's insights and inspirations." ...Or at least that's its official name. Really all it is is me writing down all the ramblings and craziness of my head on paper. But since I firmly believe that all things deserve a proper name, I hath titled it. :)
What I figured I'd do is this; I'd write my brain down on all those empty pieces of paper in there and if I came across an entry that I like, I post it to my blog! So here are the ones I thought were good so far....


Ummm yeeeaaahh about that...turns out I don't have as many insightful poetic thoughts up there as I thought I did. lol Oh well, I have discovered something along the way anyway: It's really good/relaxing/edifying/therapeutic/and just plain nice to be able to get all your thoughts out onto a piece of paper. It's like slowly emptying out the jumbles so you can more easily find the Diamonds of knowledge that are stored away into some deep corner. I suppose it's somewhat like if you had the ability to clean out everything in your room you don't want or need, and store it all in a little book. Very convenient huh. Well anyway, that's how my journaling has been going so far. I really recommend it. So yeah, I guess that's all folks. :)

"The heart"

A heart breaks over the
silliest things...
relationships
rejection
injustice
loneliness
a world turned
upside down
for the lost
the least
for so many things
...maybe not so silly

A heart breaks
far to frequently...
for the lost
for the least
for the hurts
for the pain
for the loneliness and rejection
for this world
for the constancy
of injustice
it happens all the time...

A heart is all ways
under so much pressure
being twisted
and turned
screaming in pain
this way and that...
constantly bombarded
by emotions
feelings
choices.

Some choose to ignore it
yes some ignore
there very own heart
They lock it up
They swallow the key
and build
a ten foot wall
around it
made of brick.

But a heart neglected dies
it turns to stone
and a stone heart
is no heart at all.

Some take their heart
and wear it on their sleeve
handing it to every stranger
that happens to
pass them by
They give in to emotion
they live a life of
feeling
it controls them.

But a heart dies
when it is overused
ripped out
and put on a sleeve.

Some choose to live
through it
to do the motions
to bear their heart
but not be affected
they live life
not really ever
having lived
at all.

But a heart dies
when it is set in the motions
in the body
and not listened to.

And then their are the some
who make the choice
who choose to give
their heart away
they give it to God
who takes its breaking
who takes its twisting
who take its screaming
and holds it
softly
in His hands
forever
never
letting go.

And a heart given to God
is the very best thing,
for any heart,
of all.

Anna's pet peeves

Lately, different things have been frustrating to me. So, I thought I would have a nice vent by writing a blog post. So get ready to hear some of my pet peeves.

1. Things that don't make any sense like why these things are called "pet peeves" anyway.

2. People who think that saying the first letter of the cuss word instead of the word itself makes everything ok. Come on, you mean the same thing!!!

3. Fingernail-on-chalk-board sound or anything remotely like it.

4. People who try to act cool but aren't.

5. People who try to act cool by being mean to other people...this almost should be under the first one for me because it doesn't make any sense!

6. Injustice

7. People who laugh at your beliefs.

8. People who come over to you only to talk to the friend you're with and completely ignore you...really???

9. People who judge you before they really know you...I have to admit I have fallen under this category before...I'm not proud of it.

10.People who accuse you of things that are not true.

11. People who will talk to you around some people, but ignore you around others: aka two-faced people.

12. People who are jerks but are cute and make you like them anyway.

13. People who write abnormally long emails...ha ha I do this too

14. People who say one thing and do another aka Hypocrites

15. People who start too many sentences in a row with "People who".

16. When people argue just for the sake of arguing.

17. Arguing when you know for sure you are right but you can't seem to win.

18. Arguing when you know your wrong.

19. Those who act like they're your boss even when they're not...guilty again...

20. When things are not symmetrical

21. Cliques

22. Gossip

23. Those who belittle and tear down.

24. Egos

25. Pride/Snottiness/stuck-upness/jerkness

26. People who think they are perfect and know everything.

27. When you have all these thoughts in your head and when you try to say them they all disappear.

28. When you tell someone something a million times and they still don't remember/get it.

29. When things don't work the way I want them too: aka life.

30. ummmm I've been hit by a # 27...sooo that's all folks :)

The differences between happiness and joy

Today my pastor preached a message about joy. And it really got me thinking about the differences between joy and happiness. What are they? And how exactly are they different? Well you might as well settle on down because I am about to give you a glimpse into the ramblings of my mind as I sort out the answers to these questions in my head. And yes, this is all thought up as I go along. Feel free to grab some popcorn...I would. (don't worry, I'll wait for you) :)
Now if it is all popped and ready, (and hopefully just a mite burned because it tastes better that way,) I am going to start off with a statement of belief. I believe that while happiness is just a feeling, joy is a state of mind. Now comes the explanation: I once heard a saying that went like this; "Happiness is a choice." I really liked it at the time. I thought it had a good message - that we should choose always to be happy. But then I stumbled upon a problem. I had talked to a friend of mine on the phone. She wasn't doing so good. She said she was tired of pretending to be happy all the time..when she really wasn't. I was stumped. Where, I wondered, was the dividing line between choosing everyday to be happy, and just pretending to be?
Well I am happy to say that I finally think I have figured that out. You wanna know the answer? It's simply this; the difference between happiness and joy. Explanation? Joy is really the choice, happiness is just an emotion that comes and goes. What I really want you to understand is what joy is, exactly. Let me give you an example. Have you ever read the book Pollyanna? If you haven't I suggest you do so. It's not exactly the greatest book ever written, and it's pretty slow at parts, but it has an amazing message. It's about a little orphan girl who goes to live with her (not exceptionally very nice) Aunt Polly. This girl has had a tough life, it seems that everything has gone wrong for her, but amazingly, through it all, she is glad. She remembers back when her father was alive and they used to read the scriptures about gladness. They counted the verses together and found so many times that God said to be glad and rejoice that they came up with the glad game. The way you play is to simply find something to be glad about in every situation. Like, for instance, when Pollyanna was hoping so bad for a doll to come in the missionary barrels that came for the orphans, but the only thing that showed up was an old pair of crutches. She found that she could be glad simply because of the fact she didn't need the crutches. And this is a perfect example of choosing to have joy in any and every situation; whether good or bad.
Really though, gladness, joy, and happiness are all just names. Labels, that we have assigned to different feelings, choices, and emotions. It doesn't matter particularly which one you assign to another, but that you understand the things you are assigning them to. It is simply this; I understand happiness to be an emotion that comes and goes, and joy to be a choice we make every day. To choose to rejoice in the Lord always, and again I say rejoice!

Random Poetry

I have been in a poetic mood of late an was wondering if you'd like to hear some of my own pieces? I have to admit they're nothing like the modern flowery style of beautiful writing that I hear quite often. They're more of just fun little jottings I randomly came up with. So yeah here goes:

There once was a watchmaker who lived in the woods
In a cottage of all places
He sat in his house and did his job
All day making faces. ;)

This next one I thought was rather cool because if you say it out loud it actually sounds like someone chewing gum :)

Smack, smack. Chew, chew
A piece of gum for me and you
Up and down and all around
Smacking and slurping then spit on the ground
Blow, blow. Pop, pop
Blow lots of bubbles and don’t stop
Chew it up and spit it out
Tastes a lot better than sauerkraut

I had to write a Limerick for school and this is what happened :)

In the fall the leaves fall off the trees
Leaving you to rake all of the leaves
I must say it’s not fun,
But when the raking is done
You may jump in them all as you please

This next one was probably the hardest poem I ever wrote because it is a haiku and has far too many rules for the tiny poem it creates:

The cat flicked her tail
As she watched the dangling string
Green eyes burning holes

Last but not least I shall give you some advice on how to write your own poem. You ready? Here it is:

If you were to write a poem
You first must think of a theme
Then of the style and then of the form
And all of those important things
When all of these have been thought through
Take your pen and start to jot.
For poetry will not work for you
If you never make it past the thought.

And thus endeths this blogeth post. I hope you liked it. :)

Secret

I have finally decided to share my biggest secret with the world. Not even my closest freinds know this one. Are you ready? Here it is;

I like elf shoes more than converse shoes...


*GASP*

You are you.

So today I determined that Fridays are alot like the letter "y". The connection? They both sometimes are, and sometimes aren't. Friday is sometimes consider part of the weekend, and is also sometimes a weekday. Y is sometimes a vowell, and sometimes a consonant. There are probably tons of other examples like these, but today my brain is too lazy to think of them.
Anyway, the reason I brought this up, is to point out the similarities between these and humans. Humans, us crazy humans. Sometimes we are, and sometimes we aren't. Clarification? Sometimes were happy. Sometimes were sad. Sometimes were thankful. Sometimes were mad. Sometimes we write poems without even realizing it lol.
We all go through changes, some for the better, and some for the worse. We all have our good days, and our bad days. All of our attitudes, all of our moods, are constantly changing. We all have our days when were at least somewhat happy. For some, this means jumping off the walls crazily, and then there are some who are content to give a small smile. This doesn't mean one is happier then the other, they just express it differently.
We also all have our sad,mad,bad days. Some express this by bawling their eyes out, some just pretent they're happy while they hurt inside, some do both.
My point I really want to get across though, is the way we steriotype people.
Say for example you meet someone for the first time. Your first impression of the person is when they are acting bouncy, cheerful, happy, bubbly, and talkitive. You continue to see them in this group type setting for a while, and develop a friendship with them. Then say, one day, you happen to stumble upon them in the library. They are quiet, calm, chill, peaceful, and not very talkitive. For most of us, our first reaction is to ask them if they're ok. I find this quite funny. In fact, the very statement; "You don't seem yourself today." makes me crack up. What did you think they'd become? Big bird? They're are still the exact same person you know, just in a different mood. All of our moods are ourselves. Granted, we have our bad days that inspire bad moods, and good days for good moods, and so on and so forth. So asking someone if they're ok that day because they're in a bad mood is reasonable. But I still find it funny how we assume someone is allways the way we picture them, everytime they are content and normal.
Lets go back to the girl in the library. You ask her if she's ok. She seems surprised at the question, and she says she is fine. And let me tell you something, unless you are her boyfreind, or a very close freind, believe her. If a girl says they're ok it means one of three things; They are not doing good and they want to find out if you really care enough to keep pursueing the question, they don't want to talk about it, or they really are ok. But enough about the way girls think, that was just a freebee for the guys lol.
Anyway, sometimes people are just different in different scenarios, and that's ok! Everone I talk to seems to think being yourself involves being the same person everywhere you go. I agree with that to the extent of the fact that you should have the same values and morals everywhere you go, but not anyfarther. Just because someone is a louder person one place, and a quieter person another, is NOT a bad thing! You're still you, wherever you are!
Let me give you a real life example; me. If you were to meet me around my closest friends, I would be fun and loud and fearless, if you were to meet me at the library by myself, I would be relaxed, quiet, and looking forward only to the sweet smell of a book while curling up on the couch; probly not too interested in doing anything crazy at that moment. The case even applies to different groups of people; I probably wouldn't be as bubbly and loud around my older cool friends as I would around my younger freinds. This is not a bad thing, it just has to do with the situation at hand, and taking into acount what people will think of you. I know what just happened, alarms went up in your head saying; "Uh-oh, she just cares too much what others think of her, thats why she's saying all this, because she just wants to justify being self-conscious." - not true. I'm just trying to be smart.
For instance, if you are around a bunch of people who are know for gossiping and spreading rumors, you should prabably be more careful of your actions and what you are saying, just in case it winds up everybody in school knowing about it. You get what I'm saying? We, as humans, also don't like people judging us, so, I am more careful around people I know might be judging me. But, that's where it gets iffy. You can't let your life be run by the thought that someone mught be judging you. Sometimes you just have to be the way you want to be without caring what others think....alot of times.
All that to say this, we have different personalities all wound together that make us especially who we are. We simply display different sides of ourselves in different settings at different times. This is not a bad thing, it is human nature, and sometimes even smart; I wouldn't go talk about how much I hate Obama's policies at a democractic rally....it might not be good for my health.
So I hope you get my point. You are who you are, wherever you are. You are you.

Challenge

So guess what world? I have discovered something! And it is a very good and happy something. Which is good, because I like good and happy things! Anyway, I discovered that, quite simply, I like being me. But let me back up and show you how I have reached this conclusion.
The other day....ok month, I issued myself a challenge; I was going to try as hard as possible to be myself in every situation. I want to let you know right off the bat that I have never had more fun than the past couple months. Wait, scratch that, I have had more fun, back when I was a little kid that didn't have a care in the world about anything and didn't have any drama. But let's save drama for another post shall we?
This past month or so I have found myself making choices in every situation, whether or not to sing a song or not, to wear certain clothes or not, to walk a funny way or not, to laugh at stupid things or not, to do crazy things only I would do or not. I must admit, that being myself didn't allways win. I did choose to be normal sometimes, and sometimes that's ok, but sometimes it's not. Sometimes, we need to be exactly how God created us to be. And you know what I found out through all this? Being yourself is fun! I truly have enjoyed not caring what people think of me! It's like a whole new world! I've decided I'm going to try and keep it up. I want to be me forever. Wouldn't that be awesome! Being your own person your whole life! Being yourself, who you are in God, forever. Yeah, thats how I want to live. :) How about you?
That's it! I'm going to issue you a challenge! For the next month just be who you are whithout caring what others think, see how you like it. Just be the way you were created in God, and tell me if your happier, I almost gaurentee you will be. So yeah, try it, you'll like it!....oh dear I sound like infomercial now....I'm gonna stop.