Happy Valentines day :)

Hey, so you know something we don't think about much on valentines day?

Loving our enemies.

That's sure not something Hallmark sells, is it? At least I sure don't see many cards saying:

"Hey, I know you backstabbed me and bullied me for so many years, but it's ok. I've forgiven you. I love you anyway. Happy Valentines day! :)"

It's just not something we like to think about.

No, we like to think of only two things. We take sides. Couples or singles. Valentines or Singles Awareness Day. Puppy-love or bitterness.

Or, every now and then there's the single that says they love their family and friends.
Puupy love, bitterness, or loving those dear.

And that is, sad as it is, what sells. That's the lie we've accepted. Even when it means so. much. more.

I'm talking about True Love. I'm talking about what every single human being was created for. We were created to Love. We were created with a need to be loved. We were created with a God's-love shaped hole in our hearts. And yet we stuff so many other kinds of love in it. We think the world's different definitions of love will fill it....and we are sadly mistaken.

Because the Love we were created for is greater than anything we can imagine. It holds the entire world together. It is the basis of salvation. It is our reason for living. It is our purpose. It is the gospel. It is all we need.

God revealed this all to me last night.

I was getting flustered. I was becoming overwhelmed by all the "works" aspect of christianity. How much I wasn't doing. How much I should be doing. Asking God over and over to change me. Because I wasn't being good enough.
Then it hit me....or rather, God hit me.
He told me in a loud resounding voice to just shut up. And then He told me this:

"I created you to have the faith of a child. That means simplistic faith. And in that faith, only one thing matters.

I

LOVE

YOU"

He repeated this several times, each time pausing in between. Giving me time to reflect.

And then He said:

"I only ask that you return the favor, and everything else will follow."

And that's it folks. That is our purpose in life, Love God, and love people. Everything else will follow. Everything else will fall into place.
That is God's whole message.

I Love You.

Love.

Isn't it wonderful we have a day designated to celebrate that fact? :)

After what God said struck me, I stood there for a while in silence. It's amazing how something so complicated can be reduced to something so simple. I leaned my head forward against a black shiny board, trying not to cry. I breathed out. I lifted my head up and stepped back. My breath had created a perfectly shaped heart on the board. It never does that...This is where I failed at not crying...

Jesus had just shown me what love is all about.

My friends

that is

Amazing.

Just stuff...

So I was reading the journel of tenthavenuenorth on their website, and I came across an entry about trying to fix peoples problems...which, I'll admit, I have a problem with... I often try to give everyone the "right" solution. Because, of course, I am always right.
Well that, my friends, is stupid, and I know that. And I'm working on it. It's sure not easy..because I have the gift of exhortation, which not only means to encourage, but to show the right way to go. And it can be extremely hard to just listen and not try to be everyone's conscience all the time. So I'm sincerely trying to work on it. To learn to listen. And this thought in the journal really stuck out to me...(it was after he quoted the verse about mourning with those who mourn and rejoicing with those who rejoice):

"This is what I’m called to do. Before I try to know everything and have a solution for everything and everyone, first I need to learn to sit down and weep with people. Before I try to put a band aid on their wounds, I need to actually feel the wound myself. I mean, isn’t that what Jesus did for us? He felt before He fixed. He hurt before He healed. He became flesh and dwelt among us."

It's amazing to look at your stupidity sometimes...I'm thankful for it.

Thank God for things that humble us.


Anyway! In other news, I got in a debate with my youth pastor about spiritual warfare tonight. Isn't life wonderful? ;)

In every season...

All of my life

In every season

You Are still God

And I have a reason

To sing

I have a reason

To worship.

Healing is in Your hands.

No mountain, no valley
No gain or loss we know
Could keep us from Your love

No sickness, no secret
No chain is strong enough
To keep us from Your love
To keep us from Your love

How high? How wide?
No matter where I am
Healing is in Your hands

How deep? How strong?
Now by Your grace I stand
Healing is in Your hands

Our present, our future
Our past is in Your hands
We're covered by Your blood
We're covered by Your blood

How high? How wide?
No matter where I am
Healing is in Your hands


How deep? How strong?
Now by Your grace I stand
Healing is in Your hands

Sing this in faith
In all things we know that
We are more than conquerors
You keep us by Your love
Sing it out in all things

In all things we know that
We are more than conquerors
You keep us by Your love
You keep us by Your love

How high? How wide? Oh, Lord
No matter where I am
Healing is in Your hands

How deep? How deep is Your love?
How strong? How strong is Your love?
Now by Your grace I stand
Healing is in Your hands!

Head over heels...

Does anyone else find the expression "head over heels for someone" strange? I use it alot myself but today I realized...my head is almost always over my heels....

God is good :)

Hey guys, I'm back! Yes, that's right, the overly happy/silly/rather annoying Anna is throuh with this hybernating bizz. It took a little longer than I expected, but by most standards it wasn't long at all. I just know with how much I freaking love God I can't hold out very long. :)
So what brought me back, you ask? Well, it's pretty simple..alot more simple than I thought it would be really. I just had to obey God. There were a few more things he had asked me to too. They were floating in the back of my head. I thought, that's not from God, or, that won't help anything. Most of it was just fear really though. It had to do with cutting off some ties to things of the past. Cutting out some reminders, surrenduring it all. And when I finally did, when I finally relenquished that last little bit of control I was holding onto, miracles happened. No joke guys, I could literally feel a weight come off my back. I was freed. I'm free to be happy again. I'm free to truly focus on God again. I'm free to be ever more in love, passionately in love with Him. It. Is. Wonderful. :) So, I hope you're happy for me, and I hope this lesson I've learned will stick with me for a long while.
In other news! Just a glimpse into this texas weather we've been having: It was 70 degrees on sunday. Tuesday, we got a layer of ice on all the ground and roads. It was in and out of the single digits, and nobody could get anywhere. Thursday, I believe, it was colder here than in Alaska... It stayed this way until friday, which it then proceeded to snow five inches on top of the ice...but people had gotten so fed up with being in their houses by then, that many people were trying to drive anyway... let's just say not with good results. Then today, Sunday, it went back up to 50 degrees and all the ice and most of the snow melted....Welcome to Texas. lol
Well, anyway my peeps, I've been having an absolutely wonderful week apart from being stuck inside. I can only hope the same for you. Jus know for now, God's deliverance is wonderful, like nothing you've ever known. Sometimes I feel just too happy for words. This, my friends, this relationship with Jesus Christ, is surely what life is all about. :D

A spiritual battle

All-consuming fire

You're our hearts desire

Living flame of love

come baptize us

com baptize us...

Hello my peeps, how was your week? Good? Bad? Mine was awful. But you know what? It's ok. I...I really don't think I mind that I had a terrible, awful, no-good, very bad week. Wanna know why? Because through the whole thing, I haven't given up on God. I've kept up constant companionship with Him. (Although I'll admit sometimes it was me screaming at Him...) I've kept reading my bible (although not always getting something out of it.) And I've kept asking for His will to be done. Yes, sometimes it was an "If it is at all possible, take this cup from me, Lord. Yet not my will, but Yours be done" type of prayer. But hey, even Jesus prayed that one...albeit for much better reasons lol...
Anyway, So I feel like I've proven something this week...to the devil and my sinful nature, of course. Not God. You can never prove anything to God. But I feel like I've shown the devil that no matter how badly he tries to bring me down, my God is still Lord. My God is still in control. He has first and last say in and over my life, for He is my life. So take that, Lucy. (giggles profusely) Yeah, that's right Lucifer, I just called you Lucy. Uuh. Yeeah. What now?
Ok, gansta moment over guys, sorry about that. So yeah, as horrible as this last week and a half was, I'm left feeling good. I'm left feeling like I do have authority through Jesus Christ over satan and his minions. And I'm left, ever more in love with my savior.
Another reason these trials have left me feeling good is I know why they happened. You see, I don't know if I mentioned or not that I'm going to England in a month and a half!! It's for a mission trip with my church. We're going to mainly be ministering to children and youth there. Were even gonna get to speak at assembly's in some public schools. It's uber exciting...like, very majorly so. And not because were going to England, that's petty. That would never make me this excited. No, I'm excited for what God's gonna do in England.
And so, now is obviously a time of intense spiritual preparation for that. But also so, the devil is taking this as an opportunity to desperately try to bring us down.
It seems most people I have talked to that are going on this trip have had a really bad week of it. We are struggling. We are being hounded on from every corner. Things we haven't struggled with for years are coming to haunt us. There's drama with our friends, temptations, apathy, heart-break, pride, judgementalness, lust, fear, doubt, and everything else you can think of. It is a serious spiritual attack. And that, my friends, is exciting. It's exciting because it means that God is getting ready to do something big. The enemy knows this, and is trying to get in the way. But he will fail. He will always fail, for our God, our God will always prevail.
It's as simple as that folks. For our battle is not against flesh and blood! But against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. (Ephesians 6:12)
So now, in this time, I simply ask for prayer. Anybody reads this blog, I ask that you would pray for the spiritual battles of me and all the other people going on this trip. Pray that we would remember to put on our armor, the armor of God, daily. That we would be constantly dieing to ourselves. Constantly dwelling in an intimate relationship with our Lord and savior, Jesus Christ. In whom and by whom, all things are possible.
Grace and peace to you, from our Father in heaven, Amen.

Sorry I haven't posted in a while...again. lol

And there's no life lesson today. I just feel like I need to talk.

I don't know to whom I am talking to, but it doesn't matter.

I just need to talk.

So my life has been turned upside down it seems of late
On one hand, I am getting so close to God it's...amazing, awesome, I don't have words...
On the other hand, some...things I have had to give up for that awesomeness are grating on my soul. One...thing, in particular. I cannot get over. It seems that every time I take two steps forward I take one back. And I know that doesn't sound all too bad. I'm still getting somewhere right? Well, yes...but It's takes much longer. And when you get to a point where you're this passionate for God, you don't want it to take long at all. You want to be running to him as fast as you possibly can. But you see, I'm running with a weight on my back. Not a weight of sin, mind you, but a weight of loss. Of missing...certain things once held close. And I don't know how to possibly get rid of it. I know it fades with time. That's what everyone says. That's what I thought, I believed. And it's only been a week. But a week with loss... And it's still heavy. I guess that's to be expected. I guess I need patience. God give me patience.
It's just...I miss them (yes, ok, alright, it's a person). I miss them terribly. I gave them up for they were formally a shackel, holding me back from God. Not of their own will, and not of mine. They were doing nothing wrong, per say. It was just distracting. It was not what I needed. So I said goodbye. I never imagined it would be this hard. This is hard.
So, you imaginary people that actually read this blog, give me time. I'll come around. I'll be back to being my bouncy, care-free, grass-lover self that occasionally has deep inspiring thoughts, soon. Just give me time...

For now, a poem. It seemed an appropriate way to express how I feel...

But it's mainly to one certain person..and probably will only make sense to them.

I suppose it's my turn now
to put poetry in motion
to express myself and how I feel
yes, of this I am quite certain.

However, no need to write me a song
though technically it would be your turn...
No need to remember me at all
no need for you to burn...

I have no fancy words you see
and a genius at english I'm not
I have not studied homer and such
these words only come from my heart

Yet, when I truly try to say
everything that's on my mind
I want to forego it, because I know
You'll never see this rhyme.

And so you continue in forgetful bliss
while my heart continually plays
over and over again in my head
these beautifully sad memories.

And at last:
as I go back over this poem
and think, "eh this is dumb and mushy"
all the while my heart just screams
Please do not forget me.

Life Lessons #13

Sorry I haven't posted in a while...even though I only know about a total of 1 peoples that care lol

So Life Lessons #14: The music you listen too, and the movies you watch, affect you much, much, much more than you realize.

...

and so do the people you are around the most.

...

So choose these things wisely.

Life Lessons #12

Life Lesson #12: Everything looks charming in the sunset.

Everything looks charming in the sunset. Even old buildings and torn down places in a bad part of town look charming in the sunset. It creates an effect rather like a movie. It makes people and nature look beautiful. Evrything becomes charming.
In some ways this is like our lives and the people in them. We all put on a mask. Even without realizing it. We make ourselves charming when around others. We become perfect, they become perfect, and without realizing it, we form expectations that everyone is to be perfect. At least when they are around others and us. And then we get that perfect charming image in our head of what that person is like. Problem is, people aren't always perfect. And if you're around them long enough, and you pry into them hard enough, you'll uncover their dirt. The things they hide. Their not-so-charming aspects. Just like the old crumbling building in the not-so-great part of town usually looks foreboding and scary.
The sunset, and our masks, have a very chraming effect. But that's not who we really are. And we can't expect everyone to stay like that always. We wouldn't want ourselves held to that would we?