All-consuming fire
You're our hearts desire
Living flame of love
come baptize us
com baptize us...
Hello my peeps, how was your week? Good? Bad? Mine was awful. But you know what? It's ok. I...I really don't think I mind that I had a terrible, awful, no-good, very bad week. Wanna know why? Because through the whole thing, I haven't given up on God. I've kept up constant companionship with Him. (Although I'll admit sometimes it was me screaming at Him...) I've kept reading my bible (although not always getting something out of it.) And I've kept asking for His will to be done. Yes, sometimes it was an "If it is at all possible, take this cup from me, Lord. Yet not my will, but Yours be done" type of prayer. But hey, even Jesus prayed that one...albeit for much better reasons lol...
Anyway, So I feel like I've proven something this week...to the devil and my sinful nature, of course. Not God. You can never prove anything to God. But I feel like I've shown the devil that no matter how badly he tries to bring me down, my God is still Lord. My God is still in control. He has first and last say in and over my life, for He is my life. So take that, Lucy. (giggles profusely) Yeah, that's right Lucifer, I just called you Lucy. Uuh. Yeeah. What now?
Ok, gansta moment over guys, sorry about that. So yeah, as horrible as this last week and a half was, I'm left feeling good. I'm left feeling like I do have authority through Jesus Christ over satan and his minions. And I'm left, ever more in love with my savior.
Another reason these trials have left me feeling good is I know why they happened. You see, I don't know if I mentioned or not that I'm going to England in a month and a half!! It's for a mission trip with my church. We're going to mainly be ministering to children and youth there. Were even gonna get to speak at assembly's in some public schools. It's uber exciting...like, very majorly so. And not because were going to England, that's petty. That would never make me this excited. No, I'm excited for what God's gonna do in England.
And so, now is obviously a time of intense spiritual preparation for that. But also so, the devil is taking this as an opportunity to desperately try to bring us down.
It seems most people I have talked to that are going on this trip have had a really bad week of it. We are struggling. We are being hounded on from every corner. Things we haven't struggled with for years are coming to haunt us. There's drama with our friends, temptations, apathy, heart-break, pride, judgementalness, lust, fear, doubt, and everything else you can think of. It is a serious spiritual attack. And that, my friends, is exciting. It's exciting because it means that God is getting ready to do something big. The enemy knows this, and is trying to get in the way. But he will fail. He will always fail, for our God, our God will always prevail.
It's as simple as that folks. For our battle is not against flesh and blood! But against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. (Ephesians 6:12)
So now, in this time, I simply ask for prayer. Anybody reads this blog, I ask that you would pray for the spiritual battles of me and all the other people going on this trip. Pray that we would remember to put on our armor, the armor of God, daily. That we would be constantly dieing to ourselves. Constantly dwelling in an intimate relationship with our Lord and savior, Jesus Christ. In whom and by whom, all things are possible.
Grace and peace to you, from our Father in heaven, Amen.
Monday, January 31, 2011
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Sorry I haven't posted in a while...again. lol
And there's no life lesson today. I just feel like I need to talk.
I don't know to whom I am talking to, but it doesn't matter.
I just need to talk.
So my life has been turned upside down it seems of late
On one hand, I am getting so close to God it's...amazing, awesome, I don't have words...
On the other hand, some...things I have had to give up for that awesomeness are grating on my soul. One...thing, in particular. I cannot get over. It seems that every time I take two steps forward I take one back. And I know that doesn't sound all too bad. I'm still getting somewhere right? Well, yes...but It's takes much longer. And when you get to a point where you're this passionate for God, you don't want it to take long at all. You want to be running to him as fast as you possibly can. But you see, I'm running with a weight on my back. Not a weight of sin, mind you, but a weight of loss. Of missing...certain things once held close. And I don't know how to possibly get rid of it. I know it fades with time. That's what everyone says. That's what I thought, I believed. And it's only been a week. But a week with loss... And it's still heavy. I guess that's to be expected. I guess I need patience. God give me patience.
It's just...I miss them (yes, ok, alright, it's a person). I miss them terribly. I gave them up for they were formally a shackel, holding me back from God. Not of their own will, and not of mine. They were doing nothing wrong, per say. It was just distracting. It was not what I needed. So I said goodbye. I never imagined it would be this hard. This is hard.
So, you imaginary people that actually read this blog, give me time. I'll come around. I'll be back to being my bouncy, care-free, grass-lover self that occasionally has deep inspiring thoughts, soon. Just give me time...
For now, a poem. It seemed an appropriate way to express how I feel...
But it's mainly to one certain person..and probably will only make sense to them.
I suppose it's my turn now
to put poetry in motion
to express myself and how I feel
yes, of this I am quite certain.
However, no need to write me a song
though technically it would be your turn...
No need to remember me at all
no need for you to burn...
I have no fancy words you see
and a genius at english I'm not
I have not studied homer and such
these words only come from my heart
Yet, when I truly try to say
everything that's on my mind
I want to forego it, because I know
You'll never see this rhyme.
And so you continue in forgetful bliss
while my heart continually plays
over and over again in my head
these beautifully sad memories.
And at last:
as I go back over this poem
and think, "eh this is dumb and mushy"
all the while my heart just screams
Please do not forget me.
And there's no life lesson today. I just feel like I need to talk.
I don't know to whom I am talking to, but it doesn't matter.
I just need to talk.
So my life has been turned upside down it seems of late
On one hand, I am getting so close to God it's...amazing, awesome, I don't have words...
On the other hand, some...things I have had to give up for that awesomeness are grating on my soul. One...thing, in particular. I cannot get over. It seems that every time I take two steps forward I take one back. And I know that doesn't sound all too bad. I'm still getting somewhere right? Well, yes...but It's takes much longer. And when you get to a point where you're this passionate for God, you don't want it to take long at all. You want to be running to him as fast as you possibly can. But you see, I'm running with a weight on my back. Not a weight of sin, mind you, but a weight of loss. Of missing...certain things once held close. And I don't know how to possibly get rid of it. I know it fades with time. That's what everyone says. That's what I thought, I believed. And it's only been a week. But a week with loss... And it's still heavy. I guess that's to be expected. I guess I need patience. God give me patience.
It's just...I miss them (yes, ok, alright, it's a person). I miss them terribly. I gave them up for they were formally a shackel, holding me back from God. Not of their own will, and not of mine. They were doing nothing wrong, per say. It was just distracting. It was not what I needed. So I said goodbye. I never imagined it would be this hard. This is hard.
So, you imaginary people that actually read this blog, give me time. I'll come around. I'll be back to being my bouncy, care-free, grass-lover self that occasionally has deep inspiring thoughts, soon. Just give me time...
For now, a poem. It seemed an appropriate way to express how I feel...
But it's mainly to one certain person..and probably will only make sense to them.
I suppose it's my turn now
to put poetry in motion
to express myself and how I feel
yes, of this I am quite certain.
However, no need to write me a song
though technically it would be your turn...
No need to remember me at all
no need for you to burn...
I have no fancy words you see
and a genius at english I'm not
I have not studied homer and such
these words only come from my heart
Yet, when I truly try to say
everything that's on my mind
I want to forego it, because I know
You'll never see this rhyme.
And so you continue in forgetful bliss
while my heart continually plays
over and over again in my head
these beautifully sad memories.
And at last:
as I go back over this poem
and think, "eh this is dumb and mushy"
all the while my heart just screams
Please do not forget me.
Monday, January 3, 2011
Life Lessons #13
Sorry I haven't posted in a while...even though I only know about a total of 1 peoples that care lol
So Life Lessons #14: The music you listen too, and the movies you watch, affect you much, much, much more than you realize.
...
and so do the people you are around the most.
...
So choose these things wisely.
So Life Lessons #14: The music you listen too, and the movies you watch, affect you much, much, much more than you realize.
...
and so do the people you are around the most.
...
So choose these things wisely.
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