"I have unanswered prayers
I have trouble I wish wasn't there
And I have asked a thousand ways
That You would take my pain away
That You would take my pain away
I am trying to understand
How to walk this weary land
Make straight the paths that crookedly lie
Oh Lord, before these feet of mine
Oh Lord, before these feet of mine
When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave Your hands
When You walked upon the Earth
You healed the broken, lost, and hurt
I know You hate to see me cry
One day You will set all things right
Yea, one day You will set all things right
When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave Your hands
Your hands
Your hands that shape the world
Are holding me, they hold me still
Your hands that shape the world
Are holding me, they hold me still
When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave You when...
When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave...
I never leave Your hands"
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Friday, July 15, 2011
"The Race" by D. H. Groberg
"Quit, give up, you're beaten"
They shout at you and plead
"There's just too much against you
This time you can't succeed".
And as I start to hang my head
In front of failures face
My downward fall is broken by
The memory of a race
And hope refills my weakened will
As I recall that scene
Or just the thought of that short race
Rejuvenates my being
Childrens race, young boys
Young men, how I remember well
Excitement sure, but also fear
It wasn't hard to tell
They all lined up so full of hope
Each thought to win that race
Or tie for first, or if not that
At least take second place
The fathers watched from off the side
Each cheering for his son
And each boy hoped to show his dad
That he could be the one
The whistle blew and off they went
Young hearts and hopes afire
To win and be the hero there
Was each young boys desire
And one boy in particular
Whose dad was in the crowd
Was running near the lead and thought
"My dad will be so proud"
But as they speeded down the field
Across a shallow dip
The little boy who thought to win
Lost his step and slipped
Trying hard to catch himself
With hands flew out to brace
And amid the laughter of the crowd
He fell flat on his face
But as he fell his dad stood up
And showed his anxious face
Which to the boy so clearly said
"Get up and win the race"
He quickly rose, no damage done
Behind a bit that's all
And ran with all his night and mind
To make up for the fall
So anxious to restore himself
To catch up and to win
His mind went faster than his legs
He slipped and fell again
He wised then that he had quit before
With only one disgrace
"I'm hopeless as a runner now
I shouldn't try to race"
But in the laughing crowd he searched
And found his fathers face
That steady look which said again
"Get up and win the race"
So up he jumped to try again
Ten yards behind the last
If I'm going to gain those yards he though
I've got to move real fast
Exerting everything he had
He regained eight or ten
But trying hard to catch the lead
He slipped and fell again
Defeat, he lay there silently
A tear dropped from his eye
There's no sense running anymore
Three strikes, I'm out, why try?
The will to rise had disappeared
All hope had fled away
So far behind so error prone
A loser all the way
"I've lost, so what", he thought
I'll live with my disgrace
But then he thought about his dad
Whom soon he'd have to face
"Get up" the echo sounded low
"Get up" and take your place
You were not meant for failure here
"Get up", and win the race
With borrowed will "Get up" it said
"You haven't lost at all"
For winning is no more than this
To rise each time you fall
So up he rose to run once more
And with a new commit
He resolved, that win or lose
At least he shouldn't quit
So far behind the others now
The most he'd ever been
Still he'd give it all he had
And run as though to win
Three times he'd fallen, stumbling
Three times he'd rose again
Too far behind to hope to win
He still ran to the end
They cheered the winning runner
As he crossed the line first place
Head high and proud and happy
No falling, no disgrace
But when the fallen youngster
Crossed the line, last place
The crowd gave him the greater cheer
For finishing the race
And even though he came in last
With head bent low, unproud
You would have thought he'd won the race
To listen to the crowd
And to his dad he sadly said
"I didn't do too well"
"To me you won", his father said
"You rose each time you fell"
And when things seem dark and bleak
And difficult to face,
The memory of that little boy
Helps me in my own race.
For all of life is like that race.
With ups and downs and all.
And all you have to do to win,
Is rise each time you fall.
“Quit! Give up, you’re beaten!”
They still shout in my face.
But another voice within me says:
“Get up and win the race!”
They shout at you and plead
"There's just too much against you
This time you can't succeed".
And as I start to hang my head
In front of failures face
My downward fall is broken by
The memory of a race
And hope refills my weakened will
As I recall that scene
Or just the thought of that short race
Rejuvenates my being
Childrens race, young boys
Young men, how I remember well
Excitement sure, but also fear
It wasn't hard to tell
They all lined up so full of hope
Each thought to win that race
Or tie for first, or if not that
At least take second place
The fathers watched from off the side
Each cheering for his son
And each boy hoped to show his dad
That he could be the one
The whistle blew and off they went
Young hearts and hopes afire
To win and be the hero there
Was each young boys desire
And one boy in particular
Whose dad was in the crowd
Was running near the lead and thought
"My dad will be so proud"
But as they speeded down the field
Across a shallow dip
The little boy who thought to win
Lost his step and slipped
Trying hard to catch himself
With hands flew out to brace
And amid the laughter of the crowd
He fell flat on his face
But as he fell his dad stood up
And showed his anxious face
Which to the boy so clearly said
"Get up and win the race"
He quickly rose, no damage done
Behind a bit that's all
And ran with all his night and mind
To make up for the fall
So anxious to restore himself
To catch up and to win
His mind went faster than his legs
He slipped and fell again
He wised then that he had quit before
With only one disgrace
"I'm hopeless as a runner now
I shouldn't try to race"
But in the laughing crowd he searched
And found his fathers face
That steady look which said again
"Get up and win the race"
So up he jumped to try again
Ten yards behind the last
If I'm going to gain those yards he though
I've got to move real fast
Exerting everything he had
He regained eight or ten
But trying hard to catch the lead
He slipped and fell again
Defeat, he lay there silently
A tear dropped from his eye
There's no sense running anymore
Three strikes, I'm out, why try?
The will to rise had disappeared
All hope had fled away
So far behind so error prone
A loser all the way
"I've lost, so what", he thought
I'll live with my disgrace
But then he thought about his dad
Whom soon he'd have to face
"Get up" the echo sounded low
"Get up" and take your place
You were not meant for failure here
"Get up", and win the race
With borrowed will "Get up" it said
"You haven't lost at all"
For winning is no more than this
To rise each time you fall
So up he rose to run once more
And with a new commit
He resolved, that win or lose
At least he shouldn't quit
So far behind the others now
The most he'd ever been
Still he'd give it all he had
And run as though to win
Three times he'd fallen, stumbling
Three times he'd rose again
Too far behind to hope to win
He still ran to the end
They cheered the winning runner
As he crossed the line first place
Head high and proud and happy
No falling, no disgrace
But when the fallen youngster
Crossed the line, last place
The crowd gave him the greater cheer
For finishing the race
And even though he came in last
With head bent low, unproud
You would have thought he'd won the race
To listen to the crowd
And to his dad he sadly said
"I didn't do too well"
"To me you won", his father said
"You rose each time you fell"
And when things seem dark and bleak
And difficult to face,
The memory of that little boy
Helps me in my own race.
For all of life is like that race.
With ups and downs and all.
And all you have to do to win,
Is rise each time you fall.
“Quit! Give up, you’re beaten!”
They still shout in my face.
But another voice within me says:
“Get up and win the race!”
Monday, July 11, 2011
Head and Heart
Hey there y'all. How are you? I'm afraid I don't have many deep thoughts or words for you today, I just felt like I needed to talk...er type. So here I am. Typing away. Meaningless words on a meaningless page. Unless, of course, any of these words have ever served to bring hope to someone, to bring life, to bring joy, comfort, wisdom, inspiration, or in any way stimulate somebody's brain. Then it wouldn't have been a complete waste.
You see, I'm realizing something. I'm realizing that the world is not all about me. I mean, I've always known that. But there's a big difference between head-knowledge and our actions. Knowing and saying one thing, and yet doing another, even subconsciously. And I'm afraid I have struggled in this area. I'm the type that likes to say they know all the answers: like how I'm supposed to live, how I'm supposed to act, how I'm supposed to treat others, and how I'm supposed to handle certain situations, etc... But there comes a point when you have to sit there and look at yourself, really look at yourself. A point where you have to ask yourself: am I really living this out? Not just in "word and speech" but in "actions and in truth" as 1 John 3:18 says. Is everything you've always heard and known really who you are?
And a lot of the times for me, the answer is no.
I didn't realize this about myself till recently; but for a long time there was a disconnect between my head and my heart. What I knew up there and what I really felt and did deep down. I've often lived out my christianity and life based upon feelings instead of truth. And that is an incredibely dangerous thing to do. As Jeremaiah 17:9 says: "The heart is decietfully wicked above all things. Who can know it?" We can't live by our hearts. We can not let our emotions, feelings, and circumstances direct how we live. Never should we let something that happens around us, that affects our feelings, have any affect on our relationship with God or others. That is just immaturity and selfishness. Too often we blame our problems on God and when something good happens we call it "luck." Too often when we are having a rough time of things we shut down to everyone around us; neither helping them nor letting them help us. This all is simply selfishness that only serves to hurt us in the long run. For a person made of walls will never be able to let anyone in, nor will they be able to get themselves out.
You see, I went to a camp last week that changed my life. Now this isn't your normal run of the mill summer camp. This is an intense-learning-experience-truly-digging-into-the-things-of-God type camp. There were about 6+ hours of straight up teaching by different leaders every day. I believe there was something like 23 hours in all. And then added to that is worship times, quiet times, and different learning experiences throughout the week. I mean this camp was intense. The type of intenisity that I just love. :) But anyway, on the last night the speaker was teaching on the story of Elija and Elisha. And how when they first met, Elisha burned and cooked all his oxen before following Elija. Those oxen were his whole livlihood: everything he had to live on. And also everything he had to go back to if he decided to stop following Elija. The speaker went on to talk about if we are going to truly follow Christ with all of ourselves, we have to burn every part of our past life that is holding us back. Burn every sin that gets at us most, that calls us back out of Christ's arms. He then called everyone that wanted to up in a line at the front and gave us each a microphone in turn to say the thing, or several things, we were burning: for there is healing in confession among the body. Almost the whole camp went up to the front. It was amazing. Deliverence was rampant. We each lined up in turn and gave over our struggles to Jesus. Burned our past sins and gave up our lives to the will of our creator. It was beautiful. My life was changed. I realized the main thing that was holding me back. I'm not going to say it on here but it was a subconscious thing; a driving force in my life I didn't even consciously realize was there. And I took that thing, and I burned it. Right there, in front of everybody. There is no turning back. I have given it to Jesus, and I don't ever want to live that way again.
So anyway, sorry for the side-tracking-bunny-trail. I just had to get that out of my system. I feel like telling the whole world :) But anyway, my point. Here it is: I didn't feel anything when I burned it. Some people felt a weight being lifted off their backs etc... But I felt nothing, and here's why: God was showing me that this was not just some feel-good emotional camp high. Not just another thing that felt good in my heart. No, this was a conscious descision I was making to live differently. To give my struggles over to God and to not live the christian walk by "feelings" anymore. And I belive I have truly come away different. Truly changed. I have gained some precious wisdom that I shall keep for the rest of my life. I realize now that it doesn't matter what happens in my life: my dog dies, a close friend leaves, somebody breaks up with me, I feel depressed, hurt, abondoned, rejected, etc.. It doesn't matter! I am still alive to live for the glory of God and declare His praises all the days of my life. I am still here to fellowship with others and be a light to the world. I am still alive to love. To love God and people. And no circumstance or feeling can ever change that. I have a purpose in Christ. And no power, no principality, not even death can stop me now. I have God. And He is stronger even then the grave.
Amen.
So be it.
You see, I'm realizing something. I'm realizing that the world is not all about me. I mean, I've always known that. But there's a big difference between head-knowledge and our actions. Knowing and saying one thing, and yet doing another, even subconsciously. And I'm afraid I have struggled in this area. I'm the type that likes to say they know all the answers: like how I'm supposed to live, how I'm supposed to act, how I'm supposed to treat others, and how I'm supposed to handle certain situations, etc... But there comes a point when you have to sit there and look at yourself, really look at yourself. A point where you have to ask yourself: am I really living this out? Not just in "word and speech" but in "actions and in truth" as 1 John 3:18 says. Is everything you've always heard and known really who you are?
And a lot of the times for me, the answer is no.
I didn't realize this about myself till recently; but for a long time there was a disconnect between my head and my heart. What I knew up there and what I really felt and did deep down. I've often lived out my christianity and life based upon feelings instead of truth. And that is an incredibely dangerous thing to do. As Jeremaiah 17:9 says: "The heart is decietfully wicked above all things. Who can know it?" We can't live by our hearts. We can not let our emotions, feelings, and circumstances direct how we live. Never should we let something that happens around us, that affects our feelings, have any affect on our relationship with God or others. That is just immaturity and selfishness. Too often we blame our problems on God and when something good happens we call it "luck." Too often when we are having a rough time of things we shut down to everyone around us; neither helping them nor letting them help us. This all is simply selfishness that only serves to hurt us in the long run. For a person made of walls will never be able to let anyone in, nor will they be able to get themselves out.
You see, I went to a camp last week that changed my life. Now this isn't your normal run of the mill summer camp. This is an intense-learning-experience-truly-digging-into-the-things-of-God type camp. There were about 6+ hours of straight up teaching by different leaders every day. I believe there was something like 23 hours in all. And then added to that is worship times, quiet times, and different learning experiences throughout the week. I mean this camp was intense. The type of intenisity that I just love. :) But anyway, on the last night the speaker was teaching on the story of Elija and Elisha. And how when they first met, Elisha burned and cooked all his oxen before following Elija. Those oxen were his whole livlihood: everything he had to live on. And also everything he had to go back to if he decided to stop following Elija. The speaker went on to talk about if we are going to truly follow Christ with all of ourselves, we have to burn every part of our past life that is holding us back. Burn every sin that gets at us most, that calls us back out of Christ's arms. He then called everyone that wanted to up in a line at the front and gave us each a microphone in turn to say the thing, or several things, we were burning: for there is healing in confession among the body. Almost the whole camp went up to the front. It was amazing. Deliverence was rampant. We each lined up in turn and gave over our struggles to Jesus. Burned our past sins and gave up our lives to the will of our creator. It was beautiful. My life was changed. I realized the main thing that was holding me back. I'm not going to say it on here but it was a subconscious thing; a driving force in my life I didn't even consciously realize was there. And I took that thing, and I burned it. Right there, in front of everybody. There is no turning back. I have given it to Jesus, and I don't ever want to live that way again.
So anyway, sorry for the side-tracking-bunny-trail. I just had to get that out of my system. I feel like telling the whole world :) But anyway, my point. Here it is: I didn't feel anything when I burned it. Some people felt a weight being lifted off their backs etc... But I felt nothing, and here's why: God was showing me that this was not just some feel-good emotional camp high. Not just another thing that felt good in my heart. No, this was a conscious descision I was making to live differently. To give my struggles over to God and to not live the christian walk by "feelings" anymore. And I belive I have truly come away different. Truly changed. I have gained some precious wisdom that I shall keep for the rest of my life. I realize now that it doesn't matter what happens in my life: my dog dies, a close friend leaves, somebody breaks up with me, I feel depressed, hurt, abondoned, rejected, etc.. It doesn't matter! I am still alive to live for the glory of God and declare His praises all the days of my life. I am still here to fellowship with others and be a light to the world. I am still alive to love. To love God and people. And no circumstance or feeling can ever change that. I have a purpose in Christ. And no power, no principality, not even death can stop me now. I have God. And He is stronger even then the grave.
Amen.
So be it.
Lovesick
"I am lovesick for my Beloved
My Beloved and my Friend
Only You can satisfy
Only You can satisfy
Try as I may to chase another lover
I find there is, there is no other
For only You can satisfy
Only You can satisfy
And happy am I to live a hungry life
Blessed am I to thirst
Disillusionment
It is my gift within
I am blessed
I am blessed among men
To be lovesick for my beloved
My beloved and my friend
So very lovesick for my beloved
My beloved and my friend
Only You can satisfy
Only You can satisfy
Try as I may to chase another lover
I find there is, there is no other
All the other Lovers fade away
All the other Lovers fade away
All the other Lovers fade away
Only You can satisfy
Only You can satisfy
Only You can satisfy
And happy am I to live a hungry life
Blessed am I to thirst
My desire for you
It is my gift within
I am blessed
I am blessed among men
This is the generation that's tried everything
This is the generation of Jacob
This is the generation that's done all those things
But only You can satisfy
Only You can satisfy
This is the generation
Looking for the face of God
This is the generation of Jacob
This is the generation
Searching for the face of God
And only You can satisfy
Only You can satisfy
The Spirit and the bride say, "Come!"
The Spirit and the bride say, "Come!"
The Spirit and the bride say, "Come!"
The Spirit and the bride say, "Come!"
We say, "Come!"
We say, "Come!"
We say, "Come!"
We say, "Come!"
"Lovesick" -Misty Edwards-
My Beloved and my Friend
Only You can satisfy
Only You can satisfy
Try as I may to chase another lover
I find there is, there is no other
For only You can satisfy
Only You can satisfy
And happy am I to live a hungry life
Blessed am I to thirst
Disillusionment
It is my gift within
I am blessed
I am blessed among men
To be lovesick for my beloved
My beloved and my friend
So very lovesick for my beloved
My beloved and my friend
Only You can satisfy
Only You can satisfy
Try as I may to chase another lover
I find there is, there is no other
All the other Lovers fade away
All the other Lovers fade away
All the other Lovers fade away
Only You can satisfy
Only You can satisfy
Only You can satisfy
And happy am I to live a hungry life
Blessed am I to thirst
My desire for you
It is my gift within
I am blessed
I am blessed among men
This is the generation that's tried everything
This is the generation of Jacob
This is the generation that's done all those things
But only You can satisfy
Only You can satisfy
This is the generation
Looking for the face of God
This is the generation of Jacob
This is the generation
Searching for the face of God
And only You can satisfy
Only You can satisfy
The Spirit and the bride say, "Come!"
The Spirit and the bride say, "Come!"
The Spirit and the bride say, "Come!"
The Spirit and the bride say, "Come!"
We say, "Come!"
We say, "Come!"
We say, "Come!"
We say, "Come!"
"Lovesick" -Misty Edwards-
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