Just do it.

Last night, at my church, my youth pastor preached a sermon where he basically called us out about reading our bibles. My pastor will sometimes call us out on stuff like that. We all call them spiritual spankings. But this was one spiritual spanking I was aboslutely loving. Because, right before church, God had literally opened my eyes to the awesome power of His word. And I couldn't get enough. I had to restrain myself when it came to underlinging things because I was beginning to underline everything! It was a taste of heaven :)

So I was gung-ho and all for the message preached. Seriously though, I was having a rather hard time sitting quietly and listening. Something in my spirit wanted to jump, scream, shout. It was litterally hurting my chest. Hurting how much I wanted everyone to seriously understand. Hurting how much I wanted myself to understand. To comprehend. To put into action. I was about ready to be zapped up into heaven.

I get moods like that sometimes. Where I experience God's power and glory wash over me so much I just want to be raptured right there and then. That's when I usually start crying...the same reason I cried so much in the Voyage of the Dawn Treader. Because I wanted so badly to jump into the screen and wrap my arms in Aslan's mane...

But I know why I'm not raptured here and now. I know that God has a bunch of work laid out for me here on earth. I know he has BIG plans for my life that I can't even begin to comprehend right now. And it's exciting...but I'd still just like to zap up there and be with Him forever more sometimes. :)
I just love Him so much, I can't help it.

Anyway, I figured in that moment, that since I couldn't just be raptured then and there, that I should be doing my best to serve God here. And to do so I needed to start by digging furiously into His very words He has given us. Life's instruction book that never get's outdated. That lasts forever. That holds unimaginable power. ... Serious power.

So where did these thoughts lead me? Well, back to an old idea that I had discussed with several people before who were all in favor. A bible study.

Now, I know what you're thinking; A bible study? That's it? That idea's been around forever! And I know that. But somehow it seems so much more special when you're helping to orchestrate it. When you and your peers come up with the idea yourselves and don't have an adult starting it or forcing you into it. When it results out of a simple, yet humongous desire for the word. A desire for more of God. A hunger. A passion. An awakening.

So, I thought to myself, how do I tell everyone aout this? And what would be the best time? And where? I knew what I felt it should be like; knd of a worship/prayer/bible meeting. We could bring guitars...or in my case a ukulele lol, worship God, spend time on our knees, and share about what God had been revealing to us and what was so freaking amazing that we read in the bible that week. But how do I get everyone else on board? I thought.

Then God put an idea in my head.

"Just go up there, where Jeff(my youth pastor) is, and say it.
Just say it.
Tell them your idea and ask if anyone feels the same. and if they do when would be best.
Just do it."

I was terrified.

Now, let it be known that I hav no fear of public speaking...which might be why God chose me to do this lol.
However, I do have a fear of getting up in front of all my peers and spitting out a pretty outrageous idea, at least for teenagers who claim to have no time, and claiming God wants us to do it.

So that's where I had a mini fight with myself...or with God.

"Just do it"
"But..but what if this happens? or..you know..umm...they...what if they think...what if this? What if that?"

"Just do it."

So I decided to. And as soon as I made up my mind to do it my chest started hurting more. I knew this was something that desperately needed to be said. Something that needed to get out. Get out of my chest.

So I got it off my chest.

Jeff finished with a prayer and as soon as he said Amen, I shouted, "Wait!" before all the people got up and started talking. I ran up onstage and I told them my idea. I was shaking like a leaf lol.
Now, I know I told you I have no fear of public speaking, but my body does. You see, I love the stage, but whenever I'm on it my whole body starts practically having mini siezures lol. But I did it. I got it out. And God followed through. A lot of people were all for it. They seemed excited too, and now we have the first one set up.

God is so great, is He not? :)

yeah...it happened

You know you listen to music too much when, at the dinner table, your mom asks you to pass the black eyed peas and you are momentarily confused about how you're supposed to "pass" a band...

Happy Valentines day :)

Hey, so you know something we don't think about much on valentines day?

Loving our enemies.

That's sure not something Hallmark sells, is it? At least I sure don't see many cards saying:

"Hey, I know you backstabbed me and bullied me for so many years, but it's ok. I've forgiven you. I love you anyway. Happy Valentines day! :)"

It's just not something we like to think about.

No, we like to think of only two things. We take sides. Couples or singles. Valentines or Singles Awareness Day. Puppy-love or bitterness.

Or, every now and then there's the single that says they love their family and friends.
Puupy love, bitterness, or loving those dear.

And that is, sad as it is, what sells. That's the lie we've accepted. Even when it means so. much. more.

I'm talking about True Love. I'm talking about what every single human being was created for. We were created to Love. We were created with a need to be loved. We were created with a God's-love shaped hole in our hearts. And yet we stuff so many other kinds of love in it. We think the world's different definitions of love will fill it....and we are sadly mistaken.

Because the Love we were created for is greater than anything we can imagine. It holds the entire world together. It is the basis of salvation. It is our reason for living. It is our purpose. It is the gospel. It is all we need.

God revealed this all to me last night.

I was getting flustered. I was becoming overwhelmed by all the "works" aspect of christianity. How much I wasn't doing. How much I should be doing. Asking God over and over to change me. Because I wasn't being good enough.
Then it hit me....or rather, God hit me.
He told me in a loud resounding voice to just shut up. And then He told me this:

"I created you to have the faith of a child. That means simplistic faith. And in that faith, only one thing matters.

I

LOVE

YOU"

He repeated this several times, each time pausing in between. Giving me time to reflect.

And then He said:

"I only ask that you return the favor, and everything else will follow."

And that's it folks. That is our purpose in life, Love God, and love people. Everything else will follow. Everything else will fall into place.
That is God's whole message.

I Love You.

Love.

Isn't it wonderful we have a day designated to celebrate that fact? :)

After what God said struck me, I stood there for a while in silence. It's amazing how something so complicated can be reduced to something so simple. I leaned my head forward against a black shiny board, trying not to cry. I breathed out. I lifted my head up and stepped back. My breath had created a perfectly shaped heart on the board. It never does that...This is where I failed at not crying...

Jesus had just shown me what love is all about.

My friends

that is

Amazing.

Just stuff...

So I was reading the journel of tenthavenuenorth on their website, and I came across an entry about trying to fix peoples problems...which, I'll admit, I have a problem with... I often try to give everyone the "right" solution. Because, of course, I am always right.
Well that, my friends, is stupid, and I know that. And I'm working on it. It's sure not easy..because I have the gift of exhortation, which not only means to encourage, but to show the right way to go. And it can be extremely hard to just listen and not try to be everyone's conscience all the time. So I'm sincerely trying to work on it. To learn to listen. And this thought in the journal really stuck out to me...(it was after he quoted the verse about mourning with those who mourn and rejoicing with those who rejoice):

"This is what I’m called to do. Before I try to know everything and have a solution for everything and everyone, first I need to learn to sit down and weep with people. Before I try to put a band aid on their wounds, I need to actually feel the wound myself. I mean, isn’t that what Jesus did for us? He felt before He fixed. He hurt before He healed. He became flesh and dwelt among us."

It's amazing to look at your stupidity sometimes...I'm thankful for it.

Thank God for things that humble us.


Anyway! In other news, I got in a debate with my youth pastor about spiritual warfare tonight. Isn't life wonderful? ;)

In every season...

All of my life

In every season

You Are still God

And I have a reason

To sing

I have a reason

To worship.

Healing is in Your hands.

No mountain, no valley
No gain or loss we know
Could keep us from Your love

No sickness, no secret
No chain is strong enough
To keep us from Your love
To keep us from Your love

How high? How wide?
No matter where I am
Healing is in Your hands

How deep? How strong?
Now by Your grace I stand
Healing is in Your hands

Our present, our future
Our past is in Your hands
We're covered by Your blood
We're covered by Your blood

How high? How wide?
No matter where I am
Healing is in Your hands


How deep? How strong?
Now by Your grace I stand
Healing is in Your hands

Sing this in faith
In all things we know that
We are more than conquerors
You keep us by Your love
Sing it out in all things

In all things we know that
We are more than conquerors
You keep us by Your love
You keep us by Your love

How high? How wide? Oh, Lord
No matter where I am
Healing is in Your hands

How deep? How deep is Your love?
How strong? How strong is Your love?
Now by Your grace I stand
Healing is in Your hands!

Head over heels...

Does anyone else find the expression "head over heels for someone" strange? I use it alot myself but today I realized...my head is almost always over my heels....

God is good :)

Hey guys, I'm back! Yes, that's right, the overly happy/silly/rather annoying Anna is throuh with this hybernating bizz. It took a little longer than I expected, but by most standards it wasn't long at all. I just know with how much I freaking love God I can't hold out very long. :)
So what brought me back, you ask? Well, it's pretty simple..alot more simple than I thought it would be really. I just had to obey God. There were a few more things he had asked me to too. They were floating in the back of my head. I thought, that's not from God, or, that won't help anything. Most of it was just fear really though. It had to do with cutting off some ties to things of the past. Cutting out some reminders, surrenduring it all. And when I finally did, when I finally relenquished that last little bit of control I was holding onto, miracles happened. No joke guys, I could literally feel a weight come off my back. I was freed. I'm free to be happy again. I'm free to truly focus on God again. I'm free to be ever more in love, passionately in love with Him. It. Is. Wonderful. :) So, I hope you're happy for me, and I hope this lesson I've learned will stick with me for a long while.
In other news! Just a glimpse into this texas weather we've been having: It was 70 degrees on sunday. Tuesday, we got a layer of ice on all the ground and roads. It was in and out of the single digits, and nobody could get anywhere. Thursday, I believe, it was colder here than in Alaska... It stayed this way until friday, which it then proceeded to snow five inches on top of the ice...but people had gotten so fed up with being in their houses by then, that many people were trying to drive anyway... let's just say not with good results. Then today, Sunday, it went back up to 50 degrees and all the ice and most of the snow melted....Welcome to Texas. lol
Well, anyway my peeps, I've been having an absolutely wonderful week apart from being stuck inside. I can only hope the same for you. Jus know for now, God's deliverance is wonderful, like nothing you've ever known. Sometimes I feel just too happy for words. This, my friends, this relationship with Jesus Christ, is surely what life is all about. :D